Fun Sign

These street signs are all over Adana.  They are clearly designed to warn drivers not to honk their horns, but if you have ever spent more than five minutes here, you will realize no one obeys the sign. So, S and I like to joke that it really means "don't play your trumpet in the street."  Since I have yet to see a trumpet player around these parts, I am convinced this is the case.  Boom.  Sign obeyed.

It's Not Goodbye

Everyone says the month of June sucks when you're in the Foreign Service, because that's when it's time to say goodbye.  Transfer season, as it is called, usually takes place during either the summer or winter. Since families want to see their kids finish out a school year before moving, most FSOs with school aged children leave in the summer, particularly at the end of June when school is out and there is still enough summer left to take mandatory home leave.  

This week, we said our first goodbye.  The family that left us had three children--two daughters who E absolutely adored, and a son E's age who, despite their differences at first, E grew to love playing with. Their mom was my closest friend here.  She was the very first person to open her home to us when we arrived, and she never shut the door, so to speak.  They are the family that took care of E when I went to the hospital to deliver D.  She was the one who cooked dinner for us for an entire WEEK after D was born so we didn't have to worry about it.  She and her husband had us over for countless dinners and BBQs, and we spent many a lazy afternoons lounging by the pool while our kids splashed around nearby.  There were untold shopping excursions and late afternoon gab fests in her kitchen.  There were trips to the beach and birthday parties and happy hours.  This family made the past year and a half fun for us, and they will be missed.  

But instead of focusing on the fact that they are gone, I choose to focus on the fond memories.  The last couple weeks especially, were full of good times, from a traditional Turkish dinner (with belly dancer!), to a fun-filled day at the water park, to a farewell family BBQ and last but not least, the Consulate Independence Day party where we all (maybe) had a bit too much drink that night.  

Yes, goodbyes suck.  But the memories are just too awesome to dwell on that.  Because it's never really  goodbye.  We know our paths will cross again soon.  They always do in the Foreign Service, eventually.  Right?

Afternoon at the pool - E and his buddy.

Day at the water park with all the kids

Group dinner - with belly dancer!

Going to miss this lady!

Final night of fun at the Consulate July 4th Party.

On Choosing Not to Medevac for Delivery

It has been six weeks since little D entered this world, and oh my goodness, I forgot how time consuming newborns are! If I'm not breast feeding, changing a poopy diaper or rocking him to sleep, I am doing something toddler related with my older kid or attempting to get a solid hour of shut eye. The past couple of weeks have gotten better, though, as Baby D is waking less at night and I am no longer a walking zombie during the day.  Laundry is getting done, I am back to taking work assignments from clients again, and our part-time nanny is awesome.  In other words, things are starting to return to normal. 

But all that aside, I wanted to write about a decision I struggled with while pregnant with D, and that many pregnant women in the FS struggle with when they find out they're pregnant: To medevac for delivery or not to medevac for delivery?

As I said earlier on this blog, S and I originally moved to Turkey with the intention of timing our second pregnancy so that I could deliver back in the States during language training for his second post.  That way we would already be living in D.C. and we wouldn't have to worry about medevacing. Well, you know what they say about life and plans.

When I found out I was pregnant last summer, I immediately started discussing my deliver options with S and we went back and forth about what we thought was best for me, for E, for the baby, and for us as a family.  Should I uproot E  for 3 months to go back to the States?  That would mean pulling him out of school, taking him away from his daddy, and taking him away from his friends and his routine.  Was it worth it?  Would I receive better medical care in the States compared to Turkey? Would I be able to have a normal delivery since doctors in Turkey prefer (and sometimes convince their patients to have) c-sections?  Will I feel comfortable with the language barrier if I chose to deliver here?  If I went back to the States, would I stay with my parents?  Should I put E in a new preschool? Would S be able to make it in time for the birth?  Would I be able to fly back to Turkey by myself with a newborn and a 3-year old without losing my sanity?

All these questions (and more!) swam through my head daily.  In the end, after some push back from the powers-that-be in Ankara, I chose to stay in Adana to have D.  I even signed a waiver from the Embassy acknowledging that it was preferable for all pregnant women to fly back to the US, but in the end, I still chose to stay in Turkey.  It is a decision I do not regret.  

Here's why:

Prenatal care/My Doctor

The prenatal care in Adana was fabulous.  I was lucky to have found a doctor who spoke English and who sincerely believed that c-section rates in Turkey were through the roof, and natural/normal delivery was not such a crazy idea after all.  I met with my OB once a month and he ran ultrasounds, monitored my blood pressure, prescribed vitamins and iron supplements (which I didn't take because I opted to take the same ones I took while pregnant with E--thank goodness for Amazon!) and kept track of the baby's growth so accurately that he was able to predict D's weight within a gram before his birth.  And not once did he try to convince me that D was too big to be delivered naturally, which I have heard other doctors say, even in the States.  And yes, D was a big boy.  My doctor knew what I wanted and he was going to be damn sure I got it, barring any emergencies.  He was never late for appointments, never rushed me if I had questions or concerns, and always had a calm, cool, and collected demeanor. He made me feel comfortable from day one, and that was most important to me. 

The hospital

My doctor worked out of a new, private chain hospital that has locations throughout major cities in Turkey.  It is a state-of-the-art facility, and the staff was unbelievably friendly every time I showed up for a visit.  I paid close attention to how things were handled--did nurses use gloves, did equipment get sanitized correctly, were things disposed of properly, and the answer was always yes.  Not once did I feel someone was slacking on the job when it came to cleanliness.  In fact, this was probably one of the more cleaner hospitals I've ever been in.  It was even nicer than the hospital in Brooklyn where I gave birth to E.  To be fair though, that hospital was about 100 years old and had been worn down over the years but still...The hospital also employed several translators who were called upon any time I needed.  They usually showed up within minutes of being called, and always maintained a high level of professionalism. Someone from the med unit in Ankara even came down to inspect the hospital to ensure that it was up to US standards, and it was given a thumbs up.  (I still had to sign that dang waiver, though).  After my second doctor's visit, I was comfortable with the hospital, the staff, and I trusted my doctor. But I still curious about delivery.  

The labor & delivery room

When it got close to my due date, but still not past the date at which I could change my mind and high-tail it back to the US, I asked my doctor for a tour of the delivery room.  He happily obliged and called up a translator to walk us through the area (my doctor had another delivery to get to, so he wasn't able to go with us). However, the head nurse on the delivery floor was there during our tour, so we directed all our questions to her.  I could see right away that things were done differently here. For instance there was only ONE labor room and only ONE (separate) delivery room.  Since most births occur in the operating room for c-sections, one of each room was all that was needed.  I didn't have to worry about having another woman labor at the same time as me, because chances are, I was going to be the only one.  And I was.  The labor room was your standard hospital room--a bed, a couch, numerous machines and monitors and inspirational quotes with butterflies and flowers pasted on the walls.  And this is where things get different--I didn't deliver in the same room where I labored.  When I had E, I labored in one room and when time came for me to push, they pulled off the bottom of the bed, pulled out the stirrups and said push.  This bed was just your normal, everyday hospital bed.  The delivery room was across the hall, and instead of a bed, there was a chair. It was a big. hospital-grade chair specifically designed for childbirth.  It looked weird and awkward when I first saw it, but then I realized birthing while sitting up is actually preferred and is easier than lying on your back, so I was okay with it.  My only concern was how I was going to get from the labor room to the delivery room and up into that chair.  The nurse explained their process and again, it all sounded okay to me, albeit different.  So I trusted the process and stuck with my gut--I was going to deliver in Turkey.  And I did.

In the end, I am happy with my decision.  We got to keep the family together.  We didn't have to disrupt everyone else's life, especially E's, which was my top concern, and it was never a question as to whether S would make it in time for the delivery.  Baby D's medical care before, during and after the delivery was also of top concern, and after all is said and done, I have no complaints.  The nurses post-delivery were attentive and helpful.  A lactation consultant was dispatched to my room every two hours to assist me and make sure the baby was latching properly.  She showed up a little too often for my taste, as this was not my first baby and I quickly remembered how the whole breast feeding thing worked, but she was nice and I new she was just doing her job, so I couldn't get too upset. 

My doctor checked in on me at regular intervals following the birth and monitored my healing very closely.  Instead of seeing me at 6-weeks post delivery like is custom in the US, he requested to see me after one week, and again after 3 more weeks.  And after he was satisfied with the progress of my healing, he insisted that I call his mobile number if I wanted to see him again or had any discomfort after 6 weeks. 

Our room was comfortable and large, with a separate sitting area for guests and a couch if S decided he wanted to stay the night.  Seeing that we had another kid at home to take care of, he obviously didn't stay.  But still, the option was there.  D got to be in the room with me the entire time.  He was only taken away when they needed to run tests.  Oh, and the food was amazing!  Hospital food is supposed to suck right?  Well, not here.  I was showered with snacks, juices and gourmet style lunches and dinners, as well as Turkish style breakfasts with cheese, tomatoes, olives and bread. S and I were even presented with a gourmet meal on my last night, complete with silver domed dishes loaded with steak and potatoes, a delicious salad and amazing dessert. The best part is that there is a stylist on staff that will come in and do your hair and makeup, as well as a professional photographer who will take a few photos for you. And yes, all this is covered by insurance.  Since I gave birth on a Sunday (when the stylist was off duty) and we checked out on a Monday, I decided to forgo the pampering so as to not delay our departure.  As fabulous as things were in the hospital, you just want to be home, ya know?  

Anyway, I realize some women have no choice when it comes to medevacing.  Lots of posts just don't have the medical facilities or experienced staff that meet the standards of the US, and they must go back to the States for safety's sake.  I totally understand that.  We are lucky that the medical facilities at our post were up to US standards, and we are grateful that we could stay.  I had an amazing experience here, and if I had it to do all over again, I would not have done anything differently. 

Plus, because of D, we will always carry a little piece of Turkey with us forever.

Early morning snuggles with my boys

Baby D - 1 Month

E playing with his little bro.

Welcome to the World, Baby D!

We officially have four Frequent Flyer McGuires.  This little guy made his (fashionably late) debut last weekend.  As you can see, Mom and Dad and big brother E are over the moon with joy.

Sabanci Mosque

I have a stubborn little boy still loitering inside my belly, so while I wait, ever so patiently, I thought I would post some photos of Sabanci Mosque that I took a while back.  

Sabanci Mosque, or Sabanci Merkez Camii as it is called here in Turkey, (Merkez meaning "Central" and Camii meaning "Mosque,") is located at the far edge of Merkez Parki (Central Park) and is the largest mosque in Turkey.  That's right folks, Adana boasts the biggest mosque, not Istanbul or Ankara.  And while the mosque looks old and historic, many are surprised to learn that it was only recently built in 1998.  One of the richest families in Turkey, the Sabanci family, funded its construction.  It has six minarets, a 32-meter diameter dome, and has the capacity to hold more than 28,000 people.  In other words, it's gigantic.  If you Google images of Adana, this mosque is most likely the first thing that will pop up, as it has become a symbol of the city.   When its calls to prayer go out multiple times a day, they can be heard across the city, which is something we have grown quite accustomed to since moving here.  

The mosque is open to the general public and tourists (except during prayer times, which are usually posted on the front entrance) and photographs are encouraged. I must say, that even after touring the ancient mosques in Istanbul, the Sabanci Mosque here in Adana remains just as breathtaking, in my opinion.  So, without further ado, here is Sabanci Mosque. 

View of Sabanci Mosque from across the Seyhan River

Close ups of the exterior

The interior--arches and windows

32-meter dome

Stunning marble tile work

Three

Easy E, you are 3-years old.  We celebrated your special day with a weekend-long celebration, spoiling you with pizza and ice cream, parties, cake, hot dogs and special friends.  You were excited when Daddy and Mommy let you open all your presents on Saturday morning, two whole days before your actual birthday. Saturdays have become very special to you, and we wanted to make it even more special since it was your birthday.  Every Saturday, you bounce into our room at dawn, climb into our bed and beg us to turn on the cartoons in the living room so you can snuggle with Daddy before he goes off to make his special family breakfast.  Saturday morning is your time with Daddy, and sometimes you even tell me to stay in bed so you can spend extra time with him, just the two of you.  It makes me very happy to see the bond you two share. You and I share our own special moments too, like walks home from preschool where we talk about how your day went, afternoons spent at the kitchen table with play-doh, or cooking dinner while we dance to the "Frozen" soundtrack over and over again.    

Over the past year, we have watched you grow into the most amazing kid any parents could ask for.  You are extremely inquisitive, and I don't think five minutes in a day goes by without you asking a question followed by another question, and another...  You want to know--wait, scratch that.  You need to know the answers and if you're not satisfied, you will keep asking, creating more and more questions in your little head until you find what you are seeking.  "Mommy, what is this?  What does it do?  Why do we have this?  Where did we get it? Mommy, why don't the trees fall down when the wind blows?  Where do the monsters go during the day?  If I eat all my peas, can I have two cookies for dessert instead of one?"  And that, my sweet boy, is just a tiny glimpse into your 3-year old mind.   And we love you for it.

You are a talker.  You always have been, and I think you always will be.  You are a social butterfly who isn't afraid to say hello to people in elevators, despite my warnings about talking to strangers.  You do not shy away from a conversation and will try to talk with mommy and daddy's friends like you're old college buddies.  It makes us all laugh.  You ooze confidence in public, but there are still times when you hide behind my legs in an attempt to make yourself invisible, reminding me that you are just a normal 3-year old boy with shy tendencies and insecurities.  

You are very kind and loving, and you wear your heart on your sleeve.  Just the other day you made my heart melt when you turned to me and said I was pretty and that you loved me.  And your daddy burst with pride the other night at dinner when you hugged him and told him he was a good daddy.  

You are expecting your baby brother to arrive at any moment, so you are obsessed with all things baby. When you see a baby on the street or at a restaurant, no one can stop you from walking up to say hello. You love our friends' babies and give them kisses every time you see them.  You talk about your baby brother all the time, and you keep reminding me of all the things you are going to do to help once he arrives.  I get nervous about how having a new brother will truly make you feel, and I fear that jealousy might take center stage, but deep down I know you will be a fantastic and caring brother.  I can't wait for you to have Little D in your life, and I can't wait for him to meet his big brother.  

E, you are a creative soul.  You can't sit still to save your life sometimes, and God forbid we try to get you to respond to the question of "What letter/number is this?" because you just don't want to be bothered.  Even though you know the answer.  Even though we will be walking through a store or down the street and you will point to something and say, "Hey mommy! That's the letter Y!"  You are smart, but you hate being "tested." You love fantasy worlds, and you are constantly slipping off into the land of dragons and castles and pirate ships.  I sometimes sit on the couch and just listen to you playing in your toy space around the corner, out of sight so as not to interrupt you, while you slay the dragon and hide the pirate's treasure from the bad guys.  You love books and will drop anything to sit in Mommy or Daddy's lap to read.  In fact, it's one of the few times you don't mind sitting still.  

But just as much as you love to use your imagination, you love to run.  You have always loved to run.  Lately, we have started playing the "race" game with you.  You race daddy down the hall and through the living room, then the winner stands on the step stool to be presented with a medal.  It's just mommy's old Turkey Trot medal from like, 2002, but in your eyes, it's the best. thing. ever.  You just got a scooter for your birthday and you ride it through our apartment all the time.  You love playgrounds and slides and hide and seek.  Your favorite thing in the world is "baby doggy" and you can't get to sleep without him.  You love fruit and would eat little else if we didn't encourage you.  You love to dance and sing.  Jake and the Neverland Pirates and Caillou are your favorite cartoons.  Broccoli is your favorite vegetable, but you hate green beans.  You speak and understand two languages, and you are learning a third.  You like going with mommy and daddy to watch basketball and soccer games, and even though they only hold your attention for about 20 minutes, you talk about how much fun you had for days afterward.  

E, you are the best, and we love you.  Sometimes I can't believe how quickly three years have passed.  You are growing up, and we love nothing more than watching you become a smart, sensitive and amazing little guy.  Happy Birthday.

You recently discovered a love of soccer.

Our first photo as a family of four (sort of).

Your love of slides is never ending.

Waiting to blow out the candles on your pirate cake.

Sugar overload. 

 

Relationships: U.S. and Turkey Edition

Turkey has made headlines recently regarding their policies in responding to leaked recordings of private conversations between major politicians, including the Prime Minister himself.  Those conversations were posted on social media sites, which led to a government crackdown in an effort to prevent more leaked information.  A few weeks ago, just before the March 30th local elections, Twitter was blocked throughout Turkey.  The site is back up and running now due to a court ruling, but that was not before the government blocked YouTube as well. YouTube, however, is still blocked.  Corruption allegations within the government are running rampant and have been since the conversations were leaked back in December. Arrests are being made and Turkish politicians have been partially blaming outside governments, namely the U.S. for alleged interfering.  

Because of all that has been going on, the current U.S. Ambassador to Turkey, Francis Ricciardone, gave an interview today with a Turkish-owned, English language newspaper, Hurriyet Daily News.  In the interview, Mr Ricciardone answers key questions about Turkish-American relations, the U.S. government's view on their social media ban, and the hopeful future of Turkey.  I thought the interview was important and worth sharing, so I'm linking it here. Please take a look if you have the time.